The Stillness Beyond Grief
April 19, 2021

I remember it so clearly. The lady had volunteered to be part of a wellbeing listener demonstration and Stu (in this demo) was going to be the listener.

She had said she was feeling a bit discombobulated about life. We chose her as a volunteer because this sounded like a fairly low-level issue that would be perfect for this webinar introduction. We were all feeling discombobulated in the first few weeks of lockdown – this seemed a fairly routine problem.

As Stu settled down to demonstrate wellbeing listening (there were a dozen other participants on our webinar observing) she blurted out the real reason for her overwhelm. Her voice wobbled as she explained how she was in the midst of grieving for a brother who had taken his life.

We were expecting someone to share about worry or stress – but had no idea that suicide would be the subject matter.

My mind exploded. Two weeks previously a friend of ours had taken his life – a rush of feelings swirled in. I felt a sense of intense sadness and grief – I glanced at Stu on the screen (we were on different computers using Zoom) I knew he too would be reminded of his dear friend for whom he was still grieving. I knew that he too would have a flash of feelings soar through him.

This was our very first Wellbeing Listener Introductory webinar. It took place exactly a year ago.

At the time we were in the middle of the first lockdown and life was disorientating. I was feeling helpless and useless. The health service was running at full pelt, key workers were keeping the supermarkets open, schools were trying to find a way of supporting youngsters. There was a strong urge in me to volunteer (do you remember, many people volunteered in those early days)?

What could I do? It was then we decided to run some Zoom webinars on wellbeing. We would offer them for free, as part of the gift economy for our community.

This was our first Wellbeing Listener Introduction. There were about a dozen people on the call as the lady shared this sad story. A deep silent attentiveness descended as we collectively held our breaths. How would Stu handle it? How do you listen for wellbeing when faced with such a traumatic and painful experience?

I don’t remember what Stu said. I don’t remember what the lady said. All I remember is that I felt this extraordinary sense of connection, compassion and love. It felt like everyone on the call was touching this space beyond the human experience. There was no need for words, for making anyone feel better – there was deep healing taking place in this shared experience.

In that moment I realised the extraordinary and ordinary power in wellbeing listening. Here there were two human beings connecting. Here was someone being deeply heard. There was no need to ‘fix’ there was no need to make her feel better.

As Stu listened, he was tuning in to the deeper resonance of wellbeing within her. As he tuned in to that deeper energetic life-force within her, I too began to feel it rise within me. Did she feel it too? Without words being said I knew she would be OK – it was OK to feel whatever she felt. She wasn’t her feelings and emotions; she wasn’t the pain and the grief. Her true nature was that which was beyond those emotions. Her true self was the ever-constant never-changing awareness of being.

None of this was said in words and yet at some level I experienced a taste of the deeper, creative life-force – the space of awareness.

Ultimately this is the power of the Wellbeing Listener journey. It enables people to be deeply heard. It allows for us all (both listener and speaker) to have a sense that we are much more than we think we are.

Check out our events page if you would like to learn about becoming a wellbeing listener.

1 Comment

  1. Megan Whittingham

    I remember the feeling that washed over that zoom ‘conversation’ so well., Liz. It was truly awe inspiring and a powerful reminder of deeper truths, at both an individual and collective level. You and S’tu are spreading healing like fairy dust ❤️✨🙏

    Reply

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About Inner Compass

Liz Scott & Stu Newberry are trainers, coaches and speakers. They work with individuals and groups across the UK. They also help develop coaching cultures (founded on wellbeing) within schools and organisations.

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Discover how the Inner Compass can guide you

How can you uncover your in-built resilience and wellbeing? What's the best way to share a message of wellbeing with others? The Inner Compass can guide you.

i

Explore our articles, podcasts and resources

Our articles, podcasts and resources will help people like you find the language to share the Inner Compass (also known as the Inside-Out understanding) with others.

Find out about courses, events and coaching

We've been sharing the Inside-Out understanding around the world for many years. Find out about Inner Compass courses, events and coaching.

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