Having taken the Inner Compass online Wellbeing Listener Course, I attended
sessions at Ivybridge Library where Liz and Jessica were offering tasters of the various activities offered in the area.

These were enjoyable and very varied, including mixing perfumes, seated dancing, writing, photography, yoga, Nordic Walking, origami, and even table tennis. Getting to know the participants and watching the development of new friendships amongst the group was heartening. Towards the end of what, then unbeknown to us, would be the last series of sessions for the time being, one of the ladies told me she would greatly miss the companionship that the sessions provided. I suggested that we could let the rest of the group know to keep Tuesdays at 10.30 as a time they could drop into the Watermark while shopping or changing books with a view to possibly meeting up with each other for a cuppa and a chat.

I hadn’t expected to be part of this idea on a regular basis. An email was sent out and a date set. This happened to be during school half term, November 2022 and when I arrived there were several people there, already too many to be comfortably accommodated in the café and, with our normal area of the library in use for a children’s painting session, the librarians quickly found a space for what turned out to be 13 of us. The librarians are very supportive and helpful and there is a wonderful atmosphere in the library.

While encouraging me to join the Community Listener course, Liz suggested I could use this group as my project. I therefore felt I had a regular group to attend and to some extent it required running. A group of people forming to have coffee and a chat once a week didn’t seem to be much of a project and I spent some time considering what, if any, activities we could introduce, bearing in mind there was no funding available.

It soon became apparent that the opportunity to sit around a large table for a chat was at the time sufficient. Occasionally, someone would ask if the taster sessions would be returning. Liz, having become involved in other directions, didn’t feel she had the time to do all the work involved with obtaining funding while also arranging a rota of speakers. Therefore the meetups continued informally. One week I borrowed the Library’s games, but they sat on the table unused.

The topic of having activities would sometimes pop up, as it did recently when one of the ladies said she would like to have some short sessions as before, maybe on a monthly basis. Funding not being an option at this time, I approached Liz to send me her list of people she had used, or been in contact, with. Coincidentally, the following week I arrived at the Library to find a Coronation Kite-making session in progress in the Beacon Room, run by the Ivybridge Community Arts group. They came over and asked if we would like to take part. They brought over the materials and the group very contentedly set about colouring kites and putting them together whilst chatting. You could say that this was a form of manifestation of intention! The organising ladies said they’d be happy to do further craft sessions with us for no charge and I will be in touch with them to arrange some dates.

As regards Wellbeing Listening, no mention has been made in the group as such. The wellbeing is, however, evident in the way the group relate to each other as their friendships develop. The conversations are light and supportive, with no evidence of any gossipy topics. I try to spend time getting to know different members of the group and listening to what they wish to speak about without actually ‘conducting a wellbeing listener session’. All generally seems well.

It was encouraging that after just a week the men ‘broke free’ from dutifully sitting beside their partners to form a group together. From their feedback, particularly from the two men who haven’t long been in the area, this has provided a very rare opportunity to be in the company of other men. It seems these developing friendships might be extending outside the group and I would like to encourage this.

From a conversation I had last week with them, they confirmed a previous observation I’ve had that generally men like to be doing something when they meet up, for example, offering to help fix some fencing while visiting a friend, rather than sitting around sipping tea. This is an avenue to explore that doesn’t seem to be so apparent with women, although having some knitting to do whilst sitting with a cuppa is not uncommon! I am wondering whether a barbecue could be arranged when the weather improves.

The group numbers have remained consistent; people are generally only away due to medical appointments, family visits or holidays. Of the people who started, we lost one lady who took on a demanding project and a couple who have moved out of the area.

A few weeks ago, a Devon County Council Community Enabler, arrived with a recently bereaved man. She made herself known to me and I briefly spoke with him. He seemed quite withdrawn, but during the morning I did notice some of the ladies were speaking with him. At the end of the session they left before I could speak further with them and over the following few weeks they didn’t return. I was concerned that I hadn’t been sufficiently welcoming, but they did come back, the reason for their absence was that they had been busy.

I am keeping in contact with his Enabler about his visits and I feel sure she will introduce any other local people she feels might benefit from our group.

I have really enjoyed getting to know the group and look forward to its continued growth and development.

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