Emergencies and True Self
November 25, 2019

Accident and Emergency is a bewildering, fluorescent hinterland. Dad took a tumble this weekend and we ended up in this disjointed, hurried, messy, noisy environment.

Hours and hours of waiting, punctuated with rushing nurses or doctors gabbling information, or taking blood pressure or administering medicine.

I stared at the mural of a boat, fish and seaweed above the door. Dad had been taken into a cubicle created for children.

Picture books and DVDs of Peppa Pig lined a shelf. It was quite incongruous that my octogenarian dad had ended up here. But he liked it.

He lay on a bed, his neck in a brace and his confused Alzheimer’s brain found comfort counting the stars that had been stuck on the ceiling.

As the hours ticked by, I reflected on the Inner Compass. It’s one thing standing up in front group with a flip chart and pen talking about True Self and True Nature. It’s another thing feeling at the mercy of a frantic whirl of activity, where distress, fear and mental agitation seem the norm.

Where was True Self in all of this?

True Self is a description of something that is ever present. It is not a recipe or invitation to change or adapt the experience you’re having in any one moment. Our True Nature is that settled space within, it is like the eye of the storm, it is ever present. Our True Self is that which is experiencing events, but it is never changed or altered.

At the hospital as my mind lurched from fear to calm then from agitation to stillness there was always a presence and knowing within.

Sometimes there was real clarity and a sense of connection and compassion with others. At other times this sense of knowing was clouded over with the tension of thinking.

When it was clouded, I felt insecure, frustrated and angry. When it was clear peace, love and resilience naturally bubbled through.

Dad was eventually taken into hospital for a couple of nights and as I write is still there, recovering from a fractured neck.

My memories of the A&E ward have a vivid, dreamlike quality to them. They don’t feel real.

I am so grateful for my understanding of the Inner Compass, for the way it points back to my True Nature and for knowing that as the journey with my ever-aging and vulnerable parents continues, there is real comfort in this understanding of how life works.

I don’t know the twists and turns of this journey with my parents, but I do know that I can take each step as and that’s all I need to know.

2 Comments

  1. Belinda Seaward

    Liz, you write so sensitively about a situation that would create stress and agitation in most people. Supporting a suffering loved one is heart-wrenching. As someone who has spent many hours in the surreal world of hospital wards when visiting my brother who died this year, I know that feeling of being on an emotional roller-coaster. Knowing that we can return to balance amid the turmoil makes all the difference.

    Reply
    • Liz Scott

      Yes, that is so beautifully put. Knowing we can return to balance (regardless of the turmoil) is a game changer for me.

      Reply

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About Inner Compass

Liz Scott & Stu Newberry are trainers, coaches and speakers. They work with individuals and groups across the UK. They also help develop coaching cultures (founded on wellbeing) within schools and organisations.

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How can you uncover your in-built resilience and wellbeing? What's the best way to share a message of wellbeing with others? The Inner Compass can guide you.

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Our articles, podcasts and resources will help people like you find the language to share the Inner Compass (also known as the Inside-Out understanding) with others.

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We've been sharing the Inside-Out understanding around the world for many years. Find out about Inner Compass courses, events and coaching.

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